Losing my son Nico shattered my world, leaving me lost in grief. This video shares how Grief Guide became my lifeline, offering community, validation, and a path to healing. Find solace and connection here.
I lost my son Nico, um, in April 2025. I found this place and I immediately felt like this is where I belonged. Those first couple months, I can’t, I can’t remember even the day of his funeral. I couldn’t tell you, like, who came and, and just I w- I– it was like I was not connected to my body.
I was gone. I went into such a deep, dark place, spiraling out of control, um, unable to function, you know, just it, it was like nothing was real. Like, I just, I felt crazy because, you know, I would be fine and laughing one minute, and then I would just start crying out of control the next.
But that’s been– I learned that that’s normal through going through Grief Guide, that the healing trajectory is not, it’s not linear. It’s, it’s, it’s all over the place. Coming and finding Grief Guide and, and finding, uh, my people, you know, it, it validates my emotions, my feelings. I can share things and not feel like I’m being judged.
Um, and I can share things that, like, maybe I need, you know, validation for. Does anybody else feel like this? And I’ve also learned how other people are dealing with it and what they feel. So it’s, it’s very, um, it is a community. I would actually, I would go farther to say it’s a family.
You know, it’s somewhere where I feel safe. I feel like I belong, and not only, like, am I healing, but, like, everybody is healing and you’re in a healing environment. He had a baby blanket that my cousin made for, for him for my baby shower, and he loved that blanket and he loved that rac– it was a stuffed raccoon. So every single night, there’s not a night that I miss, like, I have to wrap the raccoon in the blanket, put it in my chest, and then sometimes when I’m going through those really yearning for him, wanting to hold him again, just needing to feel him, I will cradle the raccoon in the blanket, pretend it’s him.
I have not washed it, so I still have that– he has, his smell is still on it. And I hold it, and I just close my eyes and I envision holding him. And that has brought me the most comfort. But just telling anybody that’s listening, it’s normal. It’s a struggle. Uh, I still struggle with it, and I just reached my year mark without him.
Just you’re not alone, and I would encourage them to find their, to find Grief Guide, to go to Grief Guide, ’cause you will find connection. You will find those other mothers that are, or fathers that are experiencing that same pain, that feel that same way. And actually, now that I’m saying it out loud, I think that’s what’s, what’s saved me is finding those connections with other parents and, you know, we keep each other going, you know.